Parents help you child calm their fears by creating a worry bag together. Listen to Parenting coach Pam Dyson explain what she puts into a worry bag and how these items can help kids up to 10 years old learn to cope with their anxiety. Her best tip.... Parents if you're anxious you need to get a grip on your anxiety!

Pam Dyson's favorite items are;

1) BUBBLES
Blowing bubbles help children draw deep breathes in order to blow big bubbles. This is good for parents too. Who can be anxious with beautiful bubbles floating around? We know slow deep breathing calms us down. Slow, deep breathing utilizing the diaphragm and abdomen causes heart rate, respiratory rate, and blood pressure to drop. Here's an easy bubble recipe.

2) NOTE PAD
Children of all ages can draw or write out what causes them to be fearful or anxious. Putting your fears and worries on paper gets them out of your head and then they may not seem so bad or this gives parents a place to understand what their child is afraid of. 

3) WORRY DOLLS
Guatemalan children believe that if you tell one worry to each doll and put the dolls under your pillow, when you get up in the morning your worries are gone. You can create a worry doll from an old fashion cloths pin or buy them a set in Ottawa from stores like Ten Thousand Villages. 


4) Pin Wheel
Here's a dry alternative to bubbles. Blowing on a pin wheel help children draw deep breathes. Deep breathing stimulates our  parasympathetic system which is responsible for relaxing.

5) Lavender Lotion
Lavender is a natural way to stimulation calmness. Of course massaging your child's body helps to calm your child. Remember being present and close to your child can help your child to calm themselves.

6) Squeeze toy
Squeezing a soft object helps your child to release tension. They may also find the repetitive motion soothing. 

7) Practice, practice, practice. 
Remember your child needs your help and assistance to learn how to self sooth and calm themselves down. Take out the worry bag with them when they are not worried so they learn the skills they need when they are anxious. Over time with practice, your child will internalize these behaviours and may not need to pull out the worry bag in order to conquer there fears.

Pam starts talking at about 1:44 into the segment. If there is anxiety in your home, call us today and talk to us about helping to calm down those fears. We can be reached at 613 -287-3799.

Parenting your children in today's world can be difficult. In the midst of our busy lives we are confronted with guiding our children through a variety of minefields.  This workshop will focus on developing and improving upon our relationships with our children. Having a supportive, trusting relationship with our kids will benefit them as they continue their journey towards adulthood.  

When:  January 26, 2012 6:30 – 8PM      
Where:  Suite 205, 300 March Road     
Please register online or call to reserve a seat as seating is limited

Marital distress and breakdown is tough enough to witness and experience. While adults make the choices on how they dissolve their relationship, children have little say on how marital breakdown affects their lives. It’s important to remember to help create safety and stability during this difficult period. Helping your child cope with your divorce means providing safety and stability while providing reassuring emotional support.  While this is a difficult time for everyone, children are more vulnerable to feeling abandoned or responsible for marital breakdowns.

Here a few tips on helping your child.
1)      If appropriate both you and your partner need to jointly tell your children that the marriage is over. Keep this simple without blaming. Younger children do not require a lot of detail. Be prepared that older children will ask more complicated questions. Before telling your children try to think of some of the difficult questions they may ask and how you are going to respond to these questions. Keep your answers age appropriate. Children do not need to know all of the details as to why you are getting divorced. Remember just as you are scared of what the future may bring, your children have their own fears and need to be reassured you will be there for them even if they do not live full time. Be prepared to revisit this topic at other times and ask them if they have any questions. Some children may be afraid to ask questions or truly not understand what is happening.

2)      Reassure your children.  Your children need to know you will be there to support them emotionally and physically. Try to maintain their usually routines as much as possible. By maintaining their usually routines, your children will be reassured that they can count on you for stability, structure, and care. Be prepared that children may react differently. Some children regress to more babyish behaviours, others may try and take on more grown up behaviours, while some children get into more trouble and mischief in order to get express their own angers and fears. Be prepared to spend more one on one time with your children telling them you love them and you will all get through this together.

3)      Please stop fighting in person or on the phone in front of your children. While you may no longer love or get along with your partner they will always be your children’s parent. Please reframe from being critical of your ex-spouse. This can be particularly difficult if you feel betrayed or deeply wounded by your ex-spouse. You may also need to tell your family members not to bad mouth your spouse in order to protect your children. Even if your partner has been hurtful or spiteful, speaking poorly about them does hurt your children. Research shows that the biggest single factor in long-term adjustment to divorce is the children’s level of exposure to parental conflict.

4)      Allow your child as much open contact and communication with their other parent. Divorce is difficult for everyone, especially for children who don’t understand why Mom or Dad can live with them full time anymore. Allow your child to freely contact the other parent or to talk to you about missing their parent. It’s important that your children do not feel they have to choose who they love.

5)      Help your child adjust to this new reality by allowing your child to express his or her feelings. Your child may express feelings of sadness, anger, frustration, or loss. It’s important that your child knows she or he can talk to you about how divorce has disrupted his or her world.  You can help your child process his or her loss by in initiating conversations about their emotions and feelings. Acknowledge their feelings validates your children and lets them know your hear and respect their feelings.  

Our children are our love and joy. Many of us shower our children daily with our love by doing for our children. As parents we spend a large portion of time caring and doing for our children. Driving them to school, after school activities, sporting events, music lessons, having sleepovers and play dates for them. After a full day at the office whether you work full-time or part-time, caring for our children is another full time position.  We show our children how much we love them by doing and caring for them.

The question I have for you is how many of us invest in ourselves as much as we invest in our children? Do you think yourself as being as important as your child? How many times do we see children so well kept and dressed yet Mom and Dad are a bit shabby? Do you think of yourself as important? Send your children the message you value yourself. You are important! As your child’s parent you play an important role in molding your child’s expectations and norms. Let your child develop the sense that you love and care for yourself.

By caring and respecting yourself your child will learn to value you and your time. Your child will develop a greater sense of respect for you  and a greater respect for the love you share.