1.      Draw new lines around yourself. Sometimes we get caught up in doing things for people when it is not our role or responsibility. Don’t let your boundaries be violated when it comes to tasks and responsibilities that are not yours

2.      Prioritize. Sometimes we get immersed in doing a thousand things that may not be necessary or even important while we get this illusion that we are doing a lot of things – even though they might be eating away at your precious time and energy

3.      Look into yourself. The subtle reality about prioritizing is that it takes some soul searching and reflecting on what is important to you and your life. It is particularly important to know what you want. Knowing where you would like to end up requires that you spend some serious time exploring what makes you tickabout where you would like to go in life.

4.      Cut out time and energy drainers. Knowing what to overlook is a good half of the task of reducing stress. Sometimes we end up doing a great deal of things that may have been energy drainers rather than the important tasks that would have lead to accomplishing your major tasks and duties.

5.      Create buffers. Even if you are the best planner, you need buffer time to do nothing. That’s right – doing nothing is harder than you imagine, because societal values tell us we must be busy all the time and doing nothing brings shame and guilt. Rejoice and do nothing.

6.      It’s not just what you do, but how you do them. Keep a keen interest in not only reducing your tasks or stressors but your attitude. Be curious about how others accomplish the same task. What secrets do they know?

In this day of instant messaging and texting we sometimes forget that " hearing your voice” can be more important than just our words.

In a new study led by Leslie Seltzer of the University of Wisconsin, girls who had heard mothers' words were consoled compared to girls who didn’t talk to their mothers at all and girls who only communicated through texting. Researchers looked at the girls’ cortisol and oxytocin levels before and after completing a math test. Cortisol levels are related to our stress levels. Oxytocin is associated with the ability to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships.

Girls who heard their mother's voice, either in person or on the phone, were consoled. Their oxytocin levels rose, (which means they felt connected to their mothers) and their cortisol levels dropped (which means they felt less stressed after the conversations.)

What does this all mean to kids, parents, and couples?  Texting is fine for everyday conversations such as “ supper at 6 pm or Do you anything from the grocery store?”  But maybe a personal phone call is in order for “ How was your test today?” or other potential emotional conversations.

What did we learn? 
Researchers believe we miss emotional cues when texting.   And not all conversations are best handled over texting. Person to person verbal conversation is the best to transmit and receive verbal emotional cues from each other and to emotionally connect with our loved ones. 


Enjoy the clip. Let me know what you think?

During the Christmas season we are exposed to a variety of images of people celebrating the “perfect holiday”. After all it’s too easy to create the perfect holiday on TV with million dollar budgets and an army of people to decorate your home, style your hair and clothing and cook that perfect meal. Not to mention everyone is in a festive mood and all the kids and adults are on their best behavior.  Yes the “Perfect Christmas” can be recreated, but at what cost in terms of stress to yourself and your family? 

With both parents working, children to care for, extended family visiting and a household to run most of us do not want to spend our precious free time creating the perfect celebration. The expectations you have around the holidays are directly related to the level of stress you and your family will experience if your goals are unrealistic.

This year instead of struggling to create the “Perfect Christmas” why not reflect and explore what you and your family would like as your Christmas celebration. What do you want from this season’s celebrations? What are your family’s needs and desires?  And how do you want to spend this time together as a family? Does this involve a lot of time running to the mall in search of the perfect present? Rather, would spending quality time watching movies, going for walks or some form of family activity be better? Consider what needs to happen during this holiday season in order to create a fun and relaxing time for yourself and your loved ones.